"Smite Me Oh Mighty Smiter!!!"

This is how it starts...a few snuffles here and there, some over-dramatic sneezes and a gravelly voice that makes me sound husky...adult and sensuous! (Oh yes, rather!) I am not complaining over a measly cold, far from it...*SNIFF*.....I embrace the challenges of life and take them on like a ninja....a ninja of colds, oh...not a cool nickname.......The Cold Ninja? Better...but still far from cool! *SNIFF* I hate the annoying runny feeling you get in your nose which can create happy lil' snot bubbles. I am one of the people that never blows their nose because I think it rude and unnecessary....but then again so is constant sniffing.................aah touche! *SNIFF* And no that wasn't me proving a point! The worst is when you have a coughing fit that leaves you gasping for breath, aching lungs and crimson cheeks! Usually this happens when it really shouldn't, in a meeting, with a customer, at the cinema or whilst driving...the more you try to hold it in, the worst it gets! *COUGHSPLUTTERSNIFFSNEEZEDYINGCAN'TCOPESAVEMEUGHERRRRRHHHH* Alas that was one of those moments there! (sorry to those using the translate button, I don't think anything in this post will have translated very well!) and then are those sneezes that are all ready to reach their golden moment and fail at the last minute, the retreat ready to sneek back up on you when you least expect it..........*AH...AH.....AH............................* And resume! This post is basically an ode to colds and flu viruses...because, as you read this 5% of the earths population are waging the war against the common cold virus and as an even more interesting fact for all you eccentrics who are in the same boat as me, sailing on the greeny snotty sea... Chicken Soup is actually extremely good for your cold as it clears the mucus in the bronchial tubes faster than any other hot liquid, the vapors from the soup have also been proven helpful and its general ingredients are fit to burst with anti-oxidant properties to help you fight the virus, fisty-cuffs style! They say that the future of cold care may lie in a cocktail of anti-inflammatory, anti-histamine and anti-viral medications...now I do love a cocktail and by the sounds of those ingredients a whole cocktail hour would be needed, which I am in favor for! We would call it the "Anti knows best" cocktail (not cool? about as cool as The Cold Ninja you say, well cheers!) *SNIFF SNIFF* Ooh my sniffs are getting more frequent meaning a sneeze should be on its way but probably won't arrive for another daaaayYATTCHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF*
Oh will that puts a whole new spin on things!

Rach
(Raises "Anti knows best" cocktail) "Heres to fighting fit and battling the common virus which is plaguing at least 5% of my poor Eccentrics right now!"
x

Ingredients list for, Anti Knows Best Cocktail:

1 sachet of Lemsip
A 500g tin of condensed chicken soup
2 pea sized blobs of Toothpaste (for that virusey breath!)
10g of mulched up tissue
1 500g tub of Vicks Vapor Rub
A pinch of Halls throat and chest sweets
A dash of olbas oil

ENJOY!

**Under no circumstances should any reader concoct the above ingredients into an edible or drinkable substance for medicinal purposes. The list is written and published in jest and for comedy purposes only and is not subject to liability under the protection of the Viral Communications Act 2009**