The End is Nigh -by Rachel Oliver

The End Is Nigh

And so the end is near,

but it ain't as bad as you all fear.

 Friends have been made, enemies too,

and some people I want to beat with a shoe!

I served the meals and washed up,

found and bleached every dirty cup.

I made the puddings and they were lush,

to the desserts fridge people would rush.

Tips were made, but never kept,

and over this, many wept.

I was used for the chalkboard art,

Anything to play my part.

Re-laying the restaurant was a bore,

but one job I could not ignore.

Nicking chips and toast aswell,

always running out of food to sell.

And all the injuries I managed to gain,

clumsy moments ending in pain.

I wish they had happened to you,

the one I want to beat with a shoe.

You really made work hell,

you and your stupid service bell.

You polished your brass, nice and shiny,

til I smudged and made it grimy.

Your attitude stunk and your fashion as bad,

your hitler march in corridors was so sad.

Since I started, you singled me out,

made me look like I did nowt.

Following me you stole my every job,

and so your chalkpens I did rob.

To add a splash of colour to the menu boards,

Provoking you to hide them in the drawers.

A petty chalkpen war you tried to start,

one in which I played no part.

For I am not as petty as you,

I do not need beating with a shoe.

Aah, which brings me to your footwear,

What the hell possessed you there?

They look like you stole from the Witch of the West,

Pointy Winkle Pickers? Oh give it a rest.

You most certainly aren't better than me,

A bartending tosser you'll always be.

I will not miss you when I leave,

I hate your guts, you make me heave.

So good riddance, thank God this is it,

 I hope you choke you moody sh*t!!!

By Rach Oliver

(a dedication to the horror of a barman who attempted to ruin my days at work...how he proved unsuccessfull cause I am escaping to a fab new job!!!)